By Lizette Guevara
Goodbye with a wave
Really not enough to say
Heart’s breaking away
A song with a kiss
The morning hours I won’t miss
Bye bye little bliss
Ugly turned funny
Awaiting the greatest fall
Our country has seen
Pack up all my things
Still don’t know where I’m going
All will be okay
I am really terrible at goodbyes, but I am sure that I’m not the only one. I will either distance myself from the situation as much as I can or just avoid the goodbye altogether. I am not someone who feels comfortable letting other people know what I am feeling or what I feel about them. It’s not healthy. I do not think I have ever fully embraced the closure of any milestone in my life and that is something I want to change with this experience. This year has challenged me to be open to vulnerability so I want to keep pushing myself until the very end.
This time around I want to allow myself to admit that even if it was only for a short while, I made this place my home. I want to be very intentional about where I spend my last moments on the East coast. I want to know that it is okay to cry when I need to. Lastly, I want to be able to let my Loretto family know exactly what they mean to me.
I chose a haiku for my last reflection because I sincerely enjoy them. You can use your imagination, but there is still a structure to follow. I love using my fingers to count the amount of syllables that I need and picking my brain to find the perfect word that will fit the format, if I am feeling really feisty I might even make it rhyme. I like to send silly ones to my friends then I pat myself on the back and tell myself that I used enough creativity for the day. I thought it would be a good idea to start this process with something that I know I am capable of doing and then build up to the more daunting tasks.
This is my formal beginning of the end; exactly a month from today will be my last day at work. I have been anxiously applying to jobs for the past few months (40+ jobs might I add, I know this because I keep a spreadsheet). As someone who has not been unemployed since she was 14 years old, this has been absolute hell. But since making the decision to be intentional with my goodbyes a strange peace has come over me. I feel that I can fully enjoy the time that I have left whether or not I figure out my next step before the end of the month. Just one of the many things I can thank this experience for.
Lizette Guevara is from Merced, CA and graduated from St. Mary’s college of California in 2016 with a degree in Anthropology and Ethnic Studies. During college Lizette joined a baile folklorico group (traditional Mexican folk dancing) which was the highlight of her college experience and initiated some of her closest friendships. This year she is working on the legal team at Bread for the City, a large social service non-profit in Washington, DC.
In Their Own Words
We invite you to get to know Loretto Volunteers and the program here. Volunteers introduce themselves and reflect on their experiences.