Comfort in Unknowingness

BY MADELINE BEAULIEU

​Douglas Adams once said, “Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.” All humans are innately different and hold knowledge that is unique to their own beingness, but as Adams acknowledges, we rarely use this to our advantage.
 
I don’t think this is a new concept, but nonetheless, a notion that has recently come to the forefront of my life in a powerfully relevant way. I have recently reflected on how I am so much more inclined to find things in common between myself and others, than to accept what is inherently different. Overlap is comfortable, and being able to stay within that comfort zone is very appealing.
 
There is an extreme comfort in finding things that my housemate and I, my work peers and I, or even new strangers and I have in common. But, can there be no comfort in vocalizing heterogeneity? If I’m being honest, my visceral reaction is no; however, every individual I have lived with or worked with, during this year of service, has brought explicitly different experiences and knowledge into my life (truly, things that I otherwise don’t think I would’ve encountered in my life).
 
Intentional, communal living is one of the foundational commitments of the Loretto Volunteer Program and has been a challenge for me. Initially, I was exhausted in my constant pursuit of commonalities between myself and my roommates. It wasn’t until recently that I consciously chose to explore the many more differences we share as a house. In a conversation with my housemate about professional sports, it occurred to me that we’d experienced the same thing through two completely different ways of knowing. In a moment, I became aware of how my understanding is not universal truth. Her perspective and understanding of professional sports, although different, is just as relevant and true as mine. Ultimately, I gained a refreshingly unique outlook on something I felt I knew a lot about.
 
Not only have I witnessed this in the context of my home, but also in the community I have become a part of at the Women’s Bean Project. The women I’m working with have much different histories than my own. Knowing I come from more privilege (education, social class etc.) than many of the women, left me feeling uncomfortable at first, but I didn’t want my future relationships to suffer because of it. In response, I decided to be intentional with my relationships and conversations with these women. Rather than fixate on the common ground I felt I needed to find, I allowed my authentic self to meet others in a welcoming and curious space.
 
In these ways I am challenging myself to dissociate discomfort from difference and to further embrace the opportunities that lie within the rest of this service year.  Through my interactions with other people, I am striving to be comfortable (and even excited) in questioning the things I know and how I know them.