A Recipe for Recovery for the Tired Advocate

By Merette Khalil
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Over this past year, I have spent my days at the Family Health and Birth Center working as the Patient Advocate. While this position is a catch-all, entailing lots of “as assigned or as needed” support and liaising between our patients and providers, I spend many hours every day troubleshooting issues, related to insurance and medication coverage, to ensure that patients receive their medications. While there is a certain thrill when these small battles are won, this type of advocacy work is exhausting: Spending hours on the phone each day between pharmacies and insurance companies, listening to patients describe endless ways a simple transaction (picking up medications) failed, trying to come up with creative solutions and engaging all parties in the process to ensure success. Every day I am at work, I am reminded and confronted by the extent to which the US Health Care System is broken, prioritizing profits over people, and disregarding the higher-risk, low-income, complicated-case and multi-barriers-to-wellness families. However, I am also encouraged and inspired, daily, by the work my colleagues do to justly, patiently, and compassionately serve and support our patients in the face of such stark and ubiquitous opposition. ​

Over the last couple of months, I have caught myself running on empty- I was trying to channel energy, that I did not have, towards alleviating tensions and “putting out fires” in my community at work, in my home in DC, to my chosen family in Saint Louis, and to my family abroad- while also trying to recover from a bad case of compassion fatigue. Needless to say- operating from such deep levels of exhaustion did not allow me to be present to any of these aspects of myself, my friends, or my work, which is a recipe for disaster. In reflecting on the above, and discussing motivation and compassion fatigue with some of the legacy-providers at the clinic (who have served through Community of Hope for almost two decades), I was reassured in my feelings of emptiness and encouraged to practice self-care. I wanted to share some of the ingredients I gathered for a recipe for recovery from their wisdom and my trial-and-error over the last weeks.

A Recipe for Recovery for the Tired Advocate:
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1. Sleep. A few weekends ago, I remember sleeping for 15 hours a couple of days in a row and wondering if I needed to go see a doc; I made it a goal that week to listen to my body and sleep early that week, averaging 7-8 hours/night, and woke up feeling like a champ each morning.  Sleep is the magic healer! (Don’t believe me, look it up)
2. Hydrate. We relearned from Standing Rock: Mni Wiconi. Water is life… simplest way to have energy, to help your body get rid of toxins weighing it down (in every sense)…Don’t forget fruits, and tea! I started keeping a large water bottle at my desk and taking many walks around the office to fill it- it works!
3. Hugs. Ever heard of the hug rule? There is a saying by Virginia Satir, a respected family therapist, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.”  Regardless of what your love language is, make sure that you are connected to community, and giving/receiving affirmation and support to people who are important to you! What goes around, comes around; so even if you are tired, never too tired for a hug or a kind word!
4. Create. Whether its music, art, a garden… Creating is hugely therapeutic. A perfect outlet and channel for your psyche. Even if for a 5 or 10 minute break, do it! It’s as easy as printing a coloring page at work and taking a mental moment, or even enjoying the spring weather outside planting flowers! My community and I spent an evening making art with sprinkle paint… It was awesome!
5. Center. Working for justice is exhausting, and often a slow chipping away at a tall and dense wall. Spend some time remembering and refocusing on why you are doing the work you are doing, what is your motivation? Write it down and keep it handy, whether at your desk, a note on your phone or a page in your journal. Revisit frequently.

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In closing, I want to share one of my favorite images that remind me of nature’s beautiful wisdom about life and recovery; so, next time you look at a tree, remember the recipe for recovery!

Merette Khalil is from Cairo, Egypt and graduated in 2016 from St. Louis University with a degree in Public Health, Business Management, International Studies and Local/Global Social Justice Studies. This year Merette is working at the Community of Hope Family Health and Birth Center as a patient advocate for women and families in the DC-area.